When it comes to relationships, God knows how to do them perfectly. He lays out different tips and advice in the Bible that assure us godly, happy relationships.

When we look deeper into the Bible, it tells us what we should and what we shouldn’t be looking for in a relationship. There are several so-called “red flags” that we can take from certain verses in the Bible. They can help us know if we’re in the relationship God wants us to be in!

Impatience

Ephesians 4:2 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Patience is something that every relationship needs to have in order to work. Whether that be showing patience toward the other person or having patience for the future, every relationship needs a firm foundation of patience. Patience is the glue that holds things together. In tense situations or waiting moments, without patience, there would be nothing to keep you sane.

Selfishness

1 John 3:16-18 says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters… Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

In every relationship, whether it be boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, or friend to friend, we should be making a conscious effort to put others before ourselves. When someone is only looking out for themselves all the time, they aren’t ready to commit themselves to someone else in a relationship. Relationships require sacrifice, even if it means giving up your own needs and wants in order to put the other person first.

Fear/Worry

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Having constant worry or anxiety in your relationship is one of the biggest red flags there could possibly be. This is God speaking to you and telling you that you maybe shouldn’t be dating the person that you are. The Bible says it itself: “There is no fear in love.” If you have a constant pit in your stomach or a reoccurring feeling of worry, take a step back and look at your relationship.

Jealousy

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

As humans, jealousy is a feeling that we’ve all experienced from time to time. It becomes a red flag when it starts taking over your relationship. It’s a feeling no one likes to experience, and when you’re constantly getting jealous over even the little things, maybe that relationship isn’t the one for you.

If you’re seeing signs of these red flags within your relationship, maybe God is trying to tell you something. Sit and talk with him and ask him for guidance. He always wants the best for us, we just have to let him work in our lives!

– Chelsea