This past week, I’ve been reading a book by Louie Giglio, titled, I AM NOT BUT I KNOW I AM. Something that hit me hard right away is when he talks about two archenemies of the heart- stress and meaninglessness.
i am not but i know i am I’m sure many of you can relate to what it’s like as a mother to take on the weight of the world, like it’s something we are supposed to do. We feel like we have to be all things to all people. Louie says, “If we knowingly or unknowingly, view ourselves as the source of all things of all people, we slowly lose peace of mind and find ourselves staring at the ceiling late into the night trying to figure out how to hold it all together and/or medicating ourselves just to make it through the day. ” He then goes onto say, “Why? Because the human frame wasn’t created to carry the weight of the world. That’s why, in the end, stress kills. It kills laughter. Extinguishes hope. Cracks relationships. Squashes dreams. Robs health. And steals God’s praise.”

The other archenemy he talks about is meaninglessness. He says, “Meaninglessness woos us into spending our one shot life on insignificant and trivial things. Our days become filled with drama over the ridiculous: our complaints fly free at the small challenge or difficulty: our energy and wealth are consumed by what is fleeting; and our chatter becomes dominated by events, people, and things that won’t last much longer than the morning mist.”

While reading this book, I thought about a time after college, when I decided that I wanted to get my “husband to be”, a nice gift to go in his office. I decided on a framed ‘Old Map of the World’. It would be the nice touch to the place where he spent most of his time. There was only one stipulation to this idea. It was a 2500 piece puzzle that had to be put together, glued, and fitted for a special sized frame. So being the Ultimate Ambassador, who up until that point had majored in delegating difficult jobs, I asked my oldest sister, Deb, to help me with this task. After all, I would never have the patience to see how all of those pieces fit together by myself. I told her that I would pay her to put it together. Little did we know, after all the hours it took her, she would discover a missing piece upon completion. So, she, in her most frustrated voice, asked what she should do. So being the lovely little sister that I am, I told her to get another one and to find the missing piece in the new box. After many, many hours of looking, she discovered that the new puzzle was cut differently than the original one. Therefore, she would never be able to find the missing piece!

Why do I tell you this story, you might ask? Well, to get to this point. I’ve been searching for the missing piece for so long, but the missing piece is evident. Louie Giglio says, “To both stress and meaninglessness, this book says, “Enough! Enough of little lives led by little people, crumpling under the weight of stress. And enough of empty ambition masquerading as something grand yet marked by the numbing effects of a vacant heart. And more important, this book bids, “Welcome to the story of God!”

Several years ago, I was talking to an older lady who experienced deep pain in her marriage. I was very inquisitive about her life and her experiences. I asked her what it was like to lose her husband. I asked her if she thought that it was the right choice for her life. She said, “I don’t know. I’ve never known anything different.” She then paused, and  said, “But,….it was like I had been working on this very, very, large puzzle with someone, and when we were just about finished with it,….. he just quit.”

While this woman knew nothing about the family heirloom that still hangs in our office, I knew this moment was very significant. I thought about how, in many ways, I’ve not been willing to even pick up the first piece. But, it was at that moment, that I knew that I would begin trying harder and harder than I would at anything else to pick up the pieces. After many prayers from family and friends, as well as some very hard work, I’ve come to know this. “God is really, really, BIG! He is the beginning and the end. He is the Alpha and the Omega.”

And, for those of you wondering what happened with our “Old Map of the World”, with the missing piece, …… my sister inserted a similar looking piece of the cardboard box, into the area where the real one should be. It is quite the conversation piece, still, after all these years. In fact, if you ever come to see it, I’d be happy to tell you about it, as well as what we have come to know as our missing piece of our puzzle. It’s a story of loving, caring, and forgiving God.


Buy Louie’s book here: