I don’t know anyone who starts a relationship by thinking they will break up soon. Although no one likes to think about it, the reality is that most of us will dump or be dumped multiple times before we find Mr. Right. When you are the one doing the breaking up, things can get awkward. Really awkward. No breakup is easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. The feelings and realizations that the relationship isn’t working happen over time. Before you decide to break up with someone, there are a few things you should ask yourself in order to make the process as painless, for both of you, as possible.
- What is the reason I want to break up with them?: This is something you will get asked a lot. “Why did you break up?” To prepare yourself for this, write down your feelings. Make a list of pros and cons of breaking up, or write down the reasons you think you should, just so that you can go back later and be confident in your decision and not feel regret.
- “What will things be like after we break up?”: Most people who are dating see one another a lot. They hang out a lot, see each other’s families a lot, and are pretty invested in one another’s lives. Once you break up, all of that changes. This is one of the toughest parts of a breakup, the “not being with each other all the time” part. But this also means that now, since you are single, you can focus on yourself more and hang out with friends or do things you want to do when you want to do them. Alone time is healthy!
- “How do I break up with them?”: Now that you are 100% confident that you want to break up with them, you should do the act in person. You need to be face to face so that there is no misunderstandings or unnecessary hurt feelings. Be confident, and be clear about why you are ending things.
- Reflect on the relationship: Everyone learns something from each relationship that they have been in, whether it is finding out that you love sushi or that you really don’t like it when the person you are dating chews with his mouth open. You learn more about yourself and about what you want in a life partner. Ask yourself what are some positive things you can take away from the relationship and focus on them when you feel down.
Breakups are tough, but they aren’t the end of the world. There is a light at the end of the tunnel! It gets better.